Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Monday, February 28, 2011

Gunslinge - Avenged Sevenfold

Yeah, you've been alone
I've been gone for far too long
But with all that we've been through
After all this time I'm coming home to you

Never let it show
The pain I've grown to know
'Cause with all these things we do
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you

I reach towards the sky I've said my goodbyes
My heart's always with you now
I won't question why so many have died
My prayers have made it through yeah
'Cause with all these things we do
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you

Letters keep me warm
Helped me through the storm
But with all that we've been through
After all this time I'm coming home to you

I reach towards the sky I've said my goodbyes
My heart's always with you now
I won't question why so many have died
My prayers have made it through yeah
'Cause with all these things we do
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you

I've always been true
I've waited so long just to come home to you
I'm making it through
It's been far too long, we've proven our
love over time's so strong, in all that we do
The stars in the night, may lend me their light
to bring me closer to heaven with you

(Bring me closer)

But with all that we've been through
After all this time I'm coming home to you

I reach towards the sky I've said my goodbyes
My heart's always with you now
I won't question why so many have died
My prayers have made it through yeah
'Cause with all these things we do
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you

And with all that we've been through
After all this time I'm coming home to you

M.I.A. - Avenged Sevenfold

Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise.
Living another day in disguise.
These feelings can't be right, lend me your courage to stand up and fight, on tonight.

Ooooo...
Stand up and fight

The fighting rages on and on, to challenge me you must be strong.
I walk your land but don't belong, two million soldiers can't be wrong

It's no fun but I've been here before
I'm far from home and I'm fighting your war.
(Not the way I pictured this, I wanted better things)
Some are scared others killing for fun, I shot a mother right in front of her son.
(Take this from my consciousness, and please erase my dreams)

Fight for honor, fight for your life
Pray to God that our side is right.
Even though we won, I still may lose
Until I make it home to you
I see our mothers filled with tears,
grew up so fast where did those years go?
Memories won't let you cry,
unless I don't return tonight

So many soldiers on the other side, I take their lives so they can't take mine.
(Scared to make it out alive now murder's all I know.)
Nobody tells me all the reasons we're here. I have my weapons so there's nothing to fear.
(Another day, another life, but nothing real to show for)

Fight for honor, fight for your life
Pray to god that our side is right
Even though we won, I still may lose
Until I make it home to you
I see our mothers filled with tears,
grew up so fast where did those years go?
Memories won't let you cry,
unless I don't return tonight

Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise.
Living another day in disguise.
These feelings can't be right, lend me your courage to stand up and fight.

Watching the death toll rise wondering how I'm alive.
Stranger's blood on my hands, I've shot all I can
There are no silent nights, watching your brothers all die
To destroy all their plans with no thought of me
No thought of me, no thought of me

Ohhhhh...

Walk the city lonely
Memories that haunt are passing by
A murderer walks your streets tonight
Forgive me for my crimes;don't forget that I was so young
Fought so scared in the name of God and Country

Feel - Robbie Williams

Come on hold my hand, I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand, this role I've been given
I sit and talk to God, and He just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language, I don't understand

I just wanna feel, real love fill the home that I live in
Cause I got too much life, running thru my veins, going to waste
I don't wanna die, but I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love, I'm preparing to leave her

Scare myself to dead, that's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived, I can see myself coming
I just wanna feel real love fill the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life, running thru my veins going to waste
And I need to feel, real love in the life ever after, I can not get enough

I just wanna feel, real love fill the home that I live in
I got too much love, running thru my veins, to go to waste
I just wanna feel, real love in the life ever after
There's a hole in my soul, you can see it in my face, it's a real big place

Come on hold my hand, I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand, this role I've been given
Not sure I understand, not sure I understand
Not sure I understand, not sure I understand

Second Heartbeat - Avenged Sevenfold

We keep writing, talking and planning, but everything's changing,
We all know what to do but no one does it,
Now this time has passed and full of regret,
Two in my heart have left me a while, I stand alone,
When they get back, it won't be the same,
Never be the same,
My life, you've always been there,
Now you're gone and my heads spinning,
Left the childhood, left the memories, left the good times in the past,
Moving on your time has run out,
Wishing the clock would stand still, the world can wait,
Wasting away once again, once lived as friends,

As time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life,
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night,

Never will I forget you, and all the memories past,
So rarely I get to see your face,
Growing I looked to you in guidance.
We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me,

To me you were my life,
To me you were my soul companion,
Now you are so far away,
Nothing can take away the time and the memories we had,
Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered
to the days when nothing mattered

And I feel time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life,
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night

As time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life,
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night.

Scream - Avenged Sevenfold

(loud scream)

Caught up in this madness too blind to see
Woke animal feelings in me
Took over my sense and I lost control
I'll taste your blood tonight

You know I make you wanna scream
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
but now it's too late you've wasted all your time

Relax while you're closing your eyes to me
So warm as I'm setting you free
With your arms by your side there's no struggling
Pleasure's all mine this time

You know I make you wanna scream
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
but now it's too late you've wasted all your time

Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring
Cover me, unwanted clemency
Scream till there's silence
Scream while there's life left, vanishing
Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire
perishing

We've all had a time where we've lost control
We've all had our time to grow
I'm hoping I'm wrong but I know I'm right
I'll hunt again one night

You know I make you wanna scream
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
but now it's too late you've wasted all your time

Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring
Cover me, unwanted clemency
Scream till there's silence
Scream while there's life left, vanishing
Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire
perishing

Some live repressing their instinctive feelings
Protest the way we're built don't point the blame on me

Scream, Scream, Scream the way you would
if I ravaged your body
Scream, Scream, Scream the way you would if I ravaged
your mind

Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring
Cover me, unwanted clemency
Scream till there's silence
Scream while there's life left, vanishing
Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire
perishing

this madness,this madness,this madness,weve lost control,lost control,this madness,this madness,ill hunt again one night, this madness, ill hunt again one night

Beast And The Harlot - Avenged Sevenfold

This shining city built of gold, a far cry from innocence,
There's more than meets the eye round here, look to the waters of the deep.
A city of evil.
There sat a seven-headed beast, ten horns raised from his head.
Symbolic woman sits on his throne, but hatred strips her and leaves her naked.
The Beast and the Harlot.

She's a dwelling place for demons.
She's a cage for every unclean spirit, every filthy bird
and makes us drink the poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

The city dressed in jewels and gold, fine linen, myrrh with pearls.
Her plagues have come all at once as her mourners watch her burn.
Destroyed in an hour.
Merchants and captains of the world, sailors, navigators too.
Will weep and mourn this loss with her sins piled to the sky,
The Beast and the Harlot.

She's a dwelling place for demons.
She's a cage for every unclean spirit, every filthy bird
and makes us drink the poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

The day has come for all us sinners.
If you're not a servant, you'll be struck to the ground.
Flee the burning, greedy city.
Lookin' back on her to see there's nothing around.

I don't believe in fairytales and no one wants to go to hell.
You've made the wrong decision and it's easy to see.
Now if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us,
You're welcome to the city where your future is set forever.

She's a dwelling place for demons.
She's a cage for every unclean spirit, every filthy bird
and makes us drink the poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

She's a dwelling place for demons.
She's a cage for every unclean spirit, eery filthy bird
and makes us drink the poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

Walk - Avenged Sevenfold

Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence
One step from lashing out at you...
You want in to get under my skin
And call yourself a friend
I've got more friends like you
What do I do?

[Pre:]
Is there no standard anymore?
What it takes, who I am, where I've been belong
You can't be something you're not
Be yourself, by yourself
Stay away from me
A lesson learned in life
Known from the dawn of time

[Chorus:]
Respect, walk
What did you say?
Respect, walk
Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

Run your mouth when I'm not around
It's easy to achieve
You cry to weak friends that sympathize
Can you hear the violins playing your song?
Those same friends tell me your every word

[Pre]

[Chorus x2]

Are you talking to me?
No way, punk!

[Chorus x2]

Are you talking to me?
Walk on home, boy

You're Not Alone - Saosin

That's just like him
To wander off in the evergreen park
Slowly searching
For any sign of the ones he used to love
He says he's got nothing left to live for
(He says he's got nothing left)
And this time I think you'll know

You're not alone
There's more to this I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

She's just like him
Spoiled rotten, confused by the lies shes been fed
Shes searching for no one (but herself)
Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy that she is her
And this time I think you'll know

You're not alone
There is more to this I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

You're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out

(There is more to this)

We're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

(So tell me)

You're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

You're not alone
You're not, your not alone

Bat Country - Avenged Sevenfold

He who makes a beast out of himself
Gets rid of the pain of being a man

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.

I tri-ie-ied to drive all through the night,
The heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights.
No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

As I-I-I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights.
My hand is on the trigger I'm ready to ignite.
Tomorrow might not make it but everything's all right.
Mental fiction follows me; show me what it's like to be set free.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

I'm sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.
These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today.

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
We look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but most just pass us by,
Don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right.
I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

I'm sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.

I've known it from the start
All these good ideas will tear your brain apart.
Scared but you, you follow me
I'm too weird to live but much too rare to die.

Almost Easy - Avenged Sevenfold

I feel insane every single time I'm asked to compromise
'Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways and that's the way it stays
So how long did I expect love to outweigh ignorance?
By that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip

I'm not insane, I'm not insane
I'm not insane, I'm not... not insane

(mother)
Come back to me it's almost easy
(Said at all)
Come back again it's almost easy

Shame pulses through my heart from the things I've done to you
It's hard to face but the fact remains that this is nothing new
I left you bound and tied with suicidal memories
Selfish beneath the skin but deep inside I'm not insane

I'm not insane, I'm not insane
I'm not insane, I'm not... not insane

(mother)
Come back to me it's almost easy
(Said at all)
Come back again it's almost easy
(You'll learned your lesson)
Come back to me it's almost easy
(But first you'll fall)
Come back again it's almost easy

(guitar solo)

Now that I've lost you it kills me to say
(Hurts to say)
I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away
I'm losing the fight, I've treated you so wrong now let me make it right

(Make it alright)

I'm not insane, I'm not insane(evil laugh)
I'm not insane, I'm not... not insane

(mother)
Come back to me it's almost easy
(Said at all)
Come back again it's almost easy
(You'll learned your lesson)
Come back to me it's almost easy
(But still you'll fall)

Come back again it's almost easy

Afterlife - Avenged Sevenfold

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
so unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I'm much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I'd hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Loved ones back home all crying 'cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I'm choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

(Fast Guitar Solo)
(Screaming)
(Laughing)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I'd hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Seize the Day

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These's streets we traveled on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'll do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(guitar solo)

So what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again? Whooooah
So I never want to leave you and the memories OF us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home) x2

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Thirsty Crow

One hot summer day, a thirsty crow flew all over the fields looking for water. He was very thirsty but couldn’t get water anywhere. When he got tired and weak he decided to take rest under a big mango tree. He came down and sat upon the tree. Suddenly his eyes went on a pot, which was kept on the other side of the tree.

He went near the pot and when he peered inside he found some water in it. He became delighted. “Ahhha finally I got water”, said the thirsty crow. He quickly put his peak inside the pot of water but couldn’t drink because the water was deep below the pot. Now the thirsty crow didn’t know what to do?

He sat for a while and then looked here and there. He found some pebbles on the ground. So he picked a few of them. Then he came near the pot of water, threw one pebble in it and watched. He saw that the water in the pot was coming up. So he put more pebbles in the pot. Now the level of water in the pot was high enough for the crow to drink.

Without wasting anytime the thirsty crow drank all the water and fulfilled his thirst. And then flew away…

Monday, January 3, 2011

Spoonerisms

The word spoonerism comes from William Archibald Spooner who was famous for making these verbal slips.
Spoonerisms are words or phrases in which letters or syllables get swapped. This often might be happens  in slips of the tongue.
These are some of my collections;
  1. Tease my ears (Ease my tears)
  2. A lack of pies (A pack of lies)
  3. It's roaring with pain (It's pouring with rain)
  4. Wave the sails (Save the whales)
  5. Chipping the flannel
  6. At the lead of spite
  7. Hiss and lear
  8. Go and shake a tower
  9. tips of the slung
  10. Prinderella and the Cince
  11. Beeping Sleauty
  12. The Pea Little Thrigs
  13. Goldybear and the Three Locks
  14. Ali Theeva and the Forty Babs
  15. Cat flap
  16. Bad salad
  17. Soap in your hole
  18. Mean as custard
  19. Plaster man
  20. Pleating and humming
  21. Trim your snow tail
  22. Birthington's washday
  23. Trail snacks
  24. Bottle in front of me
  25. Sale of two titties
  26. Rental Deceptionist
  27. Flock of bats
  28. Chewing the doors